Lesson #7 Life Goes On

Memorial Day weekend was very special this year. While always sad to recognize the hole in our lives that our loved ones once filled, it took on a different meaning this year now that we have Baby Liam in our lives. It made me realize that my dad, John and Ryan's dad, Dolph, live on in him. And I see them every day in not only the way that Liam looks, but in his mannerisms and little personality traits as well, and so I feel blessed remembering them.

Most of Ryan's family looks at Liam and says "Wow- he sure is a Flurry." And my family looks at him and sees all the Heidersbach traits. That's what is beautiful to me... that he inhabits the best of both grandpas in one little package.

I see my Daddy John in Liam's eyes the most. My dad had beautiful, expressive eyes that told a story long before his words did. All his emotions were in those eyes, dark blue gray eyes that I knew so well. My dad smiled with his eyes. And I always felt better when I gazed into them. They comforted me and made me laugh.

Liam has Dolph's mouth that curls into a sly smile. It is Ryan's mouth as well and I am so happy that Liam has it now. He looks like his Daddy and his Grandpa Dolph, strong men with a sensitive side as well; men who know that family is the most important thing in our lives and should be cherished. Liam's devilish little grin will always remind me of Dolph.

I believe in angels. I believe that there are two amazing ones looking down on us, looking over us, and who had more than a small hand in gracing us with Baby Liam.

And so when I think of Daddy John and Dolph now, I still miss them. I still wish they were here, but I look at Liam and I realize life goes on. Beautifully goes on. Lesson well learned.

Lesson #6 Better Late than Never

Okay, so I have to begin with an apology for waiting sooooo long to blog again. There has been a certain nameless family member (but who resides in Texas and whose name begins with "M" and ends in "arcia") who has been giving me a lot of well-meaning trouble about falling behind in my blogging responsibilities. I have been feeling guilty about it, but honestly, I have been having such a blast with little Liam lately that I have to force myself to put him down or quit just looking at him in order to get on the computer at all. He is a beautiful distraction!

It has been 5 weeks since I wrote about Liam's (sometimes embarassing) non-verbal communication and so much has happened. Liam had his first plane experience to San Francisco for Aunt Amy and (now) Uncle Michael's FABULOUS wedding weekend which coincided with my first Mother's Day as well. He has had his first Easter in St. Joe at Hope Church and learned about the Easter Bunny. He has learned to giggle, which leads to even more laughter from those watching him. He has passed 12 and 13 pounds and is sneaking his way up to 14. He has attended the birthday parties of all 3 cousins and can't wait to have one of his own. He has nearly mastered controlling his head from flopping around like a Bobblehead and he now recognizes everyone that loves him, greeting them with that sly, sweet smile. I love to see him greet his cousins Benjamin, Jeremiah and Dominic with a grin while they respond with sweet hugs and kisses. He even seems to give Grandma and Mimi special, knowing smiles full of love and promise of a fun day to come. But the best are those knowing grins he throws at me and Ryan at bedtime or just after he wakes up, so unconditionally, that tells us he knows we are there, he knows that he is safe, and that he is loved beyond imagine.

In turn, I have done a lot too. I returned to work for 3 weeks, and cried the first 5 mornings but knew how lucky I was that Grandma Becky and Mimi were taking care of him each day; and I have to admit that it felt good to be back with my students and colleagues at West. Ryan and I also were able to go to Mexico for our friends Jessica and Matthew's wedding, but had to leave the little one here. That day we left was one of the most difficult of my life not because I was worried about Liam (who was in Mimi and Papa's wonderful care), but because I was worried about me and how I would do without seeing him everyday. But the following morning when I talked to mom and found out that Liam had slept 10 hours and was smiling and happy, the worry went out the window and Ryan and I had a fantastic and needed vacation.

So sorry for the late post, but better late than never. Lesson well learned.