Lesson #20 "Time Flies When You're Having Fun"

Ryan and I have been married for two years today.  I'm a planner- I love filling in my calendar and looking forward to things, whether holidays or trips or even book clubs with my peeps.  While it's important to look ahead, it's anniversaries like this one that remind me of the importance of acknowledging and honoring where we've been as well.  So this one's for Ryan and all of the friends and family that headed out to Breckenridge two years ago to celebrate our wedding, and for the special loved ones that couldn't make it.  But it's also for Liam, so he can know what life was like before.

We left on a cold Sunday before Thanksgiving, with our bright gold XTerra (nicknamed "the school bus") filled to the brim with suitcases, candles, decorations, gift bags to stuff and more, and headed West across the great state of Kansas.  I remember feeling so excited for the wedding (of course) but also for the entire wedding week.  Breckenridge has always been a special place for us and it was the only place we could picture starting our life together.

After an overnight stay in Colby, Kansas, we arrived in Breckenridge and headed to the house we had rented for the week.  It was beautiful and we couldn't wait to have everyone arrive so we could begin sharing in the love and the laughter.  And they were worth the wait!  Becky, Jodi, Jeff, Jeremiah (just 1 and 1/2 at the time), Michael, Shannon, Benjamin (2 1/2), and little "Baby" Dominic, just 9 months, Mom and Dad, Amy and Michael, my nieces, my nephews, aunts and uncles and close friends all trickled in within the next few days.  And suddenly, the house came alive.

One night we went to the Brewery that Ryan and I have always visited in early afternoon when our ski (and board legs) have worn out.  Their beer always seems to make the pain go away :)

Another night, Amy and Michael made an fabulous Greek spread for dinner- great finger food that made for good eatin' while we watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" downstairs in the home theater.

On Thursday, my Thanksgiving started off quietly.  I went to town with Marcia and Sarah and left them for about an hour to sit at the base of Peak 9 and reflect.  Anita Evans, our dear friend, gave us some of the best pre-wedding advice. She suggested that Ryan and I write letters to each other that we seal and open on our 1st anniversary.  I ordered a cocktail, took out my favorite pen and began to write.  The sun was shining just so and it was one of those perfect moments.

 

Our non-traditional rehearsal dinner (as there wasn't much to "rehearse") was a Thanksgiving feast homemade by Becky, Marcia and Ross.  It was delicious and the toasts afterwards made it feel even more special.

Friday was the day that most of our friends and family were able to finally make it, having eaten themselves silly the day before at home.  We welcomed them with a happy hour fiesta.  I remember leaving that the night before the wedding, thinking to myself, Wow... it's really happening.  I could barely sleep.

The morning of the wedding was perfect.  Ryan got up early to go for some solo snow boarding and I hung out with the nephews in their moose pajamas.  Just the other night, Liam put on the footie pj's that were Dominic's from the trip!  Anita came to do my hair, my sister gave me something borrowed, and then it was time.

Ryan and I met at the base to take photos with Robin, our wedding photographer, while our guests took the lift to 10 Mile Station, the restaurant near the wedding site.  Next, we put on our skis and board and took the lift ourselves, getting off and skiing/boarding down to our friends and family who were all waiting for us.

Uncle Jim presided over the ceremony in his sweet, calm way.  Marilyn, Cathy, Shannon, Jodi, and my dad's brothers, Bob and Dave, all read meaningful poems and blessings.  We exchanged vows, cried and even laughed. 

The celebration continued at 10 Mile Station with cheap champagne and lots more laughter.  Photos were taken, hugs were exchanged, and then we made our exit (although a bit ungracefully on my part) until the party that night.

The reception was a blast.  Robin took us, along with our "bests" Amy and Matthew, to town for some night photos and champagne.  Then we arrived back at the house for the party.  At one point, I took a moment to look around at all these people we love and who love and support us right back, and I knew that this was what life is all about.  And life is beautiful.

Our Wedding Week marked the beginning of what would become the most monumental two years of our lives.  So far.  Time sure does fly.  Lesson well learned.

 

Lesson #19 "You're Never Too Old for Halloween!"

Fall continues to be my favorite season. And Halloween was always one of my favorite holidays.  Growing up I can remember planning my costumes months in advance, sometimes making them but often buying them, and going through stages of cute to scary to everything in between.  Some of the more memorable costumes included the time that Jenny Deitz and I made giant dice out of cardboard boxes and "rolled" up to our neighbors doors that night.  Unfortunately, we underestimated the size of our neighbors doorsteps, and didn't quite fit side by side.  Kind of defeated the purpose of a joint costume, but it was still fun. 

As I continued on in elementary school,  I went through a phase of "retro" costumes: sock hop poodle skirts, hippy bell bottoms and peace signs, disco polyester and glitter and so on.  Those were fun times.  But something happens in 7th and 8th grade-the neighbors that used to look at you with a welcoming "hi... what a great costume" suddenly scowl and ask, "aren't you a little old to trick or treat?"  So, needless to say, I took a break for a few years.

But then, in college, the costume party genre began and my dress up obsession fueled up again.  All costumes had to have a wig- that was key.  And then cool make up.  Some costumes, I'll be honest, were sexy.  That was when I was single.  When I had a boyfriend they tended to be silly.  Silly is more fun when you have someone to be silly with, I guess.

Years later, and now I get to experience Halloween through my son's eyes.  And Liam celebrated his first Halloween in an udderly monstrous fashion!

A couple of posts ago I put up a picture of him at Writers Walk in his cow costume. That was his outfit for Halloween but a couple of days earlier there was a Safe Trick or Treating event at school and because I am weird, I didn't want him wearing the cow back to SM West. I mean it had been seen and well photographed at school already, so I decided to mix it up.  Liam put on the cute Frankenstein's Monster T-shirt that Melinda Green Roumas gave him from her store, Mady and Me.  Then, the Margherios joined us for a crazy crowded time at West, but we all had fun.  They came to our house first and Liam decided that he would get into character and become a little Monster... he began crying for no apparent reason.

The boys didn't really know how to react to the little Monster's outburst.  Check out Dominic's face.



But after Bob the Builder and Thomas the Train calmed the little guy down, we headed off to West.  Mimi, Papa, Jenny, Shannon and Michael all joined in the fun.  There was candy, face painting, cookie decorating, costume admiring, and of course, scary, spidery decorations!

A few nights later on the actual Halloween holiday, we busted out the cow outfit again to go trick or treating in the Village (Prairie Village shops for those of you out-of-towners).  A couple of observations about taking an 8 month old trick or treating...

1.  Pick a costume that looks cute in a sitting position, because the costumes that need to be "vertical" don't really work yet.  The cow was a good choice for this one, but I saw many little ones in costumes that looked kind of strange because you couldn't see the legs.  I'm just sayin'. 

2.  Costumes that provide warmth are a good thing.  Unfortunately, I could only see a peek-a-boo tail here and there under fleece jackets on some of the kiddos. 

3.  If you choose a cute little cow outfit for your son (like we did), understand that many people will assume that he is a girl seeing how the eyelashes are pink. Also, let's face it, unless we totally dress him all masculine-like, the kid looks like a little girl anyway with those big blue eyes.  He is always mistaken for a girl... I say, own it.  Repeat after me Liam, "I'm pretty and I like it!" 

4. Because he can't eat candy yet, make sure to bring along sweet-toothed grandparents like Mimi and Papa so they can follow him and take the candy :).

After the Village, we headed to Ryan's receptionist, Jan's house.  She lives very nearby and is IN LOVE with little Liam and he loves her right back.  He had a wonderful time, especially when she gave him a funny wooden frog with long arms and legs to play with, and showed him her very large dog "Buddy" who makes Lola look as tiny as a bug.

Liam's first frog legs.

Finally, to wrap up a wonderful evening, Anita arrived at our house with balloons!  Liam and Anita played with them for a long time, giggling and really laughing out loud at times.  It was so adorable.

Liam's first Halloween was everything it should be- fun, costumed, and best of all- shared with friends and family!  And I had as much fun (or more) than he did, proving that you're never too old for Halloween!  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #18 "Those That Have Gone Are Still Within Us"

I can't not post today.  I have to write about my dad, John Austin Heidersbach, who passed away four years ago today.  In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago- since that day I have regained the love of my life, have married him and had a son with him.  Other times, though, I feel as if it was just yesterday that I was in the hospital waiting room after being asked to leave while they "worked" on my dad.  That is how I feel today. 

I can still see Dad's face as I left the room, a small smile of reassurance passed my way because he always knew I was a worrier and he knew that Amy, the one person I needed to be there, was far away.  I can still feel my mom's hand in my own, warm and comforting, sending me back to the days of my childhood after scrapes and hurt feelings and broken hearts when she was the only one who could make me feel better.  And I can still hear Marilyn's beautiful voice while she next to me in the waiting room- this special woman in my life who met me in the middle of the night in order to support me through what was the roughest time I had known.  Finally, I remember Daddy Don, my rock, steady and true, providing hugs when needed and safe silence when talking seemed trivial.

The details of the next few hours are muddled, but the moment they called us back in the room I knew something had changed.  And while I held Dad's hand for the last time, he looked calm.  He looked peaceful.  And he released a final breath with the intention of a good man saying goodbye to all those he loved, and with the wisdom of someone who stood on the edge of two worlds and who could see that the next one held all that it had promised. 

Afterwards, the details are once again lost.  There was crying.  There was the worst phone call I ever had to make- telling my sister that our Dad was gone.  There was fatigue.  There was grief.  There was the looking through photos, planning the service, choosing the music, packing his apartment, and on and on.

Eventually Amy and I decided to take Dad's ashes to Paris and to take the trip he never could.  We walked from cafe to cafe, from museum to museum, seeing it all through Dad's eyes.  We saw works of art that would have astounded him.  We walked the city streets and thought of him, spoke about him and toasted to him.  It was as if being together made it better... and after that, it became a little easier each day.

So now, four years later, Amy and I are both married to wonderful men and are living the lives Dad dreamed for us.  Dad is in our daily lives, in small ways.  My classroom and home have his paintings on their walls.  Amy and I speak of him all the time, whenever we hear a song that reminds us of him .  We share memories without tears now and they comfort us.  He is all around us.

And little Liam John, my son, reminds me of him every day.  Those that have gone, are still within us.  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #17 "It's Fall, Y'All"

Fall has always been my favorite season.  My family would probably say it's because my birthday is in October and let's face it, I love a good party.  Or maybe my love for all things autumn has something to do with the fact that our house looks best this time of year- the oranges and reds and yellows just fit, you know?  Perhaps these used to be the reason for the love of the season, but not anymore.  

It's official.  I love fall because there is so much fun to be had with Liam! Some of the many reasons are..

.

Pumpkin patches with cousins, aunts, uncles, Grandma and fun Aunt Marcia makes for good times and fantastic photo opps. 

Fall is the best time ever for hats.  And while I can still control his clothing options, I am going to accessorize the heck out of the little guy.

It's cool enough to take him out on walks and adventures without us all melting into a puddle, but not cold enough to freeze. We have been enjoying lots of time outside in parks, in our backyard, and even in our front yard by our new tree that Daddy planted.

It's also a great time to head to the Farmer's Market with cousin Jeremiah!



Fun time of year for weenie roasts at Grandma's house!

S'mores (minus the chocolate and marshmallows)!

And it the best time to dress up like a goofy cow and visit Mommy and her students at the annual Writer's Walk.  Liam was there for 3 hours, had a bottle, took a nap in my (and Jenny's) arms, and still managed to charm the pants off of fellow teachers and even our principal, Dr. McLean.  Benjamin and Dominic came too to enjoy the fun!

Yes, it's fall, y'all!  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #16 'It's Fun to be a Goofball"

Not a ton to write about these days- just that in general, my son is a giant goofball!  Apparently it is a term I use frequently.  Just the other night, I was babysitting my gorgeous nephews, Dominic and Benjamin, and I looked at Dom and said, "You're a goofball."

He got very quiet, came up and sat in my lap on the futon and whispered, "No, you're a goofball."  Then he giggled hysterically. 

"No, Dominic, you're a goofball." I would say to him in a whisper (apparently it is funnier when you say it that way).

"No, Annie, you're a goofball," he responded.  This went on for a full 5 minutes until I realized it was past their bedtime.  As I turned off the light later that night, I said, "Goodnight sweethearts."

Dominic replied, "Goodnight goofball."

Okay, so maybe I overuse the word, but in terms of my son, there is no other way to describe him some days.  Cases in point...

At Vivienne Scarlett Lillian Lukas' 2nd birthday party the other day, Liam was far more interested in making everyone laugh than he was in the bubble machine outside.  My favorite is the 3rd one where he is demonstrating his dance moves.

Ryan and I took him to the Plaza Art Fair, and he was an angel, even feigning interest in the art work with his Daddy.

But then the comic came out and he decided that he wanted to show us his "hippy" side- a real "tree hugger"!

I think a lot of it is for attention (shocker) and more specifically, the attention of the ladies.  Just the other day, Becky said that while he should have gone to sleep while in Babies R Us and instead he spent the whole time flirting with the various women he would encounter.  Didn't sleep until alone in the back seat on the way home, exhausted from all of the flirting I assume.  It must be those baby blues.

Mimi brought him to school the other day, which I loved.  And he was hysterical!  He flirted with the girls in my class (like Skylar below), but even got the angst-ridden boys to laugh with him.

Liam's silliness has seeped into his picture taking as well.  He has stopped really smiling for the camera.  Instead, every time he see one, he just opens his mouth and makes a funny face.

I don't know where he gets it.

Life is just better when you are a goofball, right Liam?  Lesson well learned.