Lesson #12 The Joads Got Nothin' on the Flurrys

My sister Amy was in our high school's production of Oklahoma years ago and I remember going to see her in her pink gingham dress singing about a surrey with a fringe on top.  That memory, along with teaching Grapes of Wrath's story of the Joad family for five years now, are the only two things I have to reference Oklahoma.  Until I met Ryan, that is.

Two weekends ago, Liam, Ryan, Grandma Becky and I decided it would be fun to drive to Oklahoma for Uncle Jimmy Ray's 80th birthday party.  I had been there once before, a month before our wedding, to meet the Flurry relatives.  It was a great trip.  Even so, we had been debating for weeks about going this time, concerned about the long drive with a 6 month old, the exhaustion Ryan and I would undoubtedly feel after the first full week of school with students actually there (it really does make a difference to have all those live bodies in the building), and, of course, the heat.  The predicted temperature for Lindsay, OK was 108 degrees.  Really. 108.  

But as we all know there are times in our lives when rational reasons are no excuses for not doing what is essentially right.  And it was right to introduce little Liam to the Flurry clan.  And it was right to be there for Becky.  And so after a photo shoot on the bed as I frantically packed, we were off!

We left on Friday night with Liam all set to go to sleep for the night.  Bedtime bottle?  Check.  Pajamas on?  Check.  Pillow for mom to catch some zzzz's on the way?  Check.  We were set.  We headed out to Wichita, where Becky had booked a lovely suite for us to spend the night.  Liam decided that he loves a good road trip as much as the next guy, so he stayed up for about an hour and a half before he gave in to his heavy eyelids.  We arrived at 10pm which he decided would be a good time for a late night bottle and then settled into his Pack n' Play like a champ (even though it was in the kitchen).

After a good night's sleep for all, a relaxing morning and nice hotel breakfast we continued South.  Again, he was a trooper and it was a fun car ride with Becky and Ryan telling stories of previous trips to Oklahoma with Dolph.  We decided to stop for lunch at "Carlito's" Mexican restaurant because it "had the most cars in the parking lot" which was the deciding factor between it and Mazzio's (which reminded Becky and Ryan of the days teasing Jodi with the Mazzio song because she never wanted to go there and was always outvoted :) ).   After a satisfying lunch of quesadillas and salads for us and Ryan's nose for Liam, we continued on.

Arriving at the church where the party was held, Liam was refreshed from his nap and ready to charm the pants off everyone. We walked in to a welcoming chorus of "They're here!" and such love filled the room. 

Liam was passed from aunt to uncle and back again, but really warmed up to Judy, Dixie and Kim.

But Robert and Richard got their turns too.

Jimmy Ray was overwhelmed by all of the people who showed up to celebrate his 80 years, and was touched by the special video from some troops in Afghanistan, wishing him happy birthday and thanking him for his previous service to our country.

It was great to see Becky with all of her "people" from Dolph's side of the family who were tickled to see her again in their neck of the woods.

We eventually said our goodbyes and left for Richard's, about an hour or so away.  Liam took a nap almost immediately... it is apparently exhausting being held and awed over all afternoon.

Richard and Betty Flurry welcomed us in their beautiful home for the evening and entertained us by taking us to a quirky and fun chicken "joint" called Eischens.  It boasts that it is the oldest bar in Oklahoma and they even have a part of the original bar itself in the front room. 

Ryan, Becky and I gulped when we arrived and saw the gathering of people waiting for a table with no official wait list.  Richard said we just "wait around like vultures" for an open table.  Liam was 30 minutes past his bedtime by this point, but I had a talk with him earlier about being a flexible traveller and that occasionally it's good to stay out late, and he agreed.  Richard found a "line," stood in it and eventually got us a great table.  It didn't take long to go over the menu... it's short.  A basket of fried chicken (the whole chicken) for $12 that comes with a side of sweet and sour pickles, raw onions and white bread, fried okra for $6, nachos- which we didn't order and seemed random, and a sandwich that NO ONE was ordering.  Soda or beer.  Cash only.  No silverware, just wax paper and fingers (our own of course, fingers not provided).

A waitress who has worked there  for 30 years took our drink order and asked for our "chicken order number"?  Richard looked at her confused as she explained that you should put your chicken order in BEFORE you wait for a table so it's ready when you sit.  Wow. Would have been nice to know before.  We ordered 3 chickens and 2 okras and of course, beer.

Liam just looked at the fun lights and rowdy guests, loving every minute of it.  It was like Tanners at home, but better!  Eventually he pooped, so we changed him out in the car, put his pj's on, gave him a bottle and he was asleep in Becky's arms just as the chicken arrived.

And let me tell you - it was WORTH THE WAIT!  Absolutely amazing!  It was a fantastic experience and we felt so lucky to get to have Richard and Betty to ourselves and really catch up.  We were stuffed, but happy, when we arrived back at the house and went to bed around 11pm.  

Richard and Betty graciously gave up their bed to us, with Liam in the Pack n' Play in the room with us.  I contentedly fell asleep , looking at the many pictures of Dolph that adorn their bedroom.  It was beautiful to see him honored in their home- I could feel him with us throughout the weekend... looking down proudly at how welcoming his family was to us.

The next morning I woke up to the smell of biscuits and gravy, so I grabbed Liam and gave him his morning bottle in the living room.  Richard was surprised Becky wasn't up yet even though it was just 7am, but I assured him that she would be out soon and probably showered and ready too.  Sure enough, 5 minutes later she came in, ready for the day.  I was still in my pajamas. 

The real treat that morning was when Keisha, Richard and Betty's daughter in law and her sons Rylan (age 8) and Grayson (age 5) came over for breakfast.  They live just a mile away and with Jabonne deployed in Afghanistan, it helps to have them so near.  It was a joy to see Richard and Betty with their grandsons and is clear that the boys have Grandpa Richard tied around their little fingers and he loves it.  After the boys jumped on the trampoline, Grandpa brought out the scooters and eventually the dune buggy!  Ryan and I even took it for a spin while Liam rested in Grandma's arms.

A couple last photos of all the boys together and we headed back home.

Oklahoma will always hold a special place in my travel log now because of my two trips there.  Thank you so much to all who welcomed us and especially to Richard and Betty who were the quintessential hosts.  The Joad's got nothin' on you!  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #11- Blessed Babies Have More Fun

Liam is no longer a heathen and I couldn't be happier.  Sunday, July 31, 2011 Liam John Flurry was baptized at Hope Church. Of course, he had to get pretty before the big event so we gave him his first hair cut on Saturday night.  The cool crazy hair of his youth had thinned into a combover of sorts, and so through laughter and tears, I cut it.  He was calmer than his folks and actually looked pretty adorable afterwards.

The morning had arrived and Liam got a good night's sleep.  He was so happy, in fact, that he decided to start the day with a little tickling of the ivories.  Cousin Jeremiah was gracious enough to show him how it's done.  Future Billy Joel and Elton John?

Liam left his musical ambition in time to get ready for church.  So many people came up to see the important event; the church was filled with such love. Liam arrived in his Sunday best.  As soon as we walked in, his eyes lit up and he turned on the charm!

The service was beautiful, complete with Children's Sermon.  Notice how Benjamin is already taking his role of "oldest cousin" very seriously.  He was adorable and even led the prayer at the end. Look at how he is herding Dominic and Jeremiah... so cute.

My favorite part of the day had to be watching Amy and Michael, as Godparents, take such good care of Liam during the service.  After the Christening was finished, they held Liam.  When I looked over at him, Liam was nearly asleep in their arms and they were lightly stroking his forehead.  Baby Ambien.  He was loving every minute of it.  After that, Amy picked him up and danced quietly with him in the corner of the church.  He is so lucky to have them in his life- I know that even though they live in San Francisco, he will seen them frequently.  I foresee him going out to "San Fran" often and him coming home with fun stories of the beach, the city and his canine cousin Cali!

After church we all headed back to Grandma Becky's house where she presented a wonderful spread for us, complete with a real "Bev" cake that was so cute and yummy! After many family photos out by the tree (in the blazing heat), we all change into our party clothes and enjoyed food and family and friends.  

 

Liam was a trooper and fell asleep in the middle of it all in my arms.  It was a wonderful and blessed day- thank you to everyone who was a part of it.

No longer a heathen, he is ready to take on the world.  Blessed babies do have more fun.  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #10 Grandparents Rock

 "Our grandchildren accept us for ourselves, without rebuke or effort to change us, as no one in our entire lives has ever done, not our parents, siblings, spouses, friends - and hardly ever our own grown children."  ~Ruth Goode

Ryan and I both were so lucky to grow up with grandparents nearby.  Ryan talks frequently about Granny in Oklahoma as well as Geneva and Walter's influences growing up.  He remembers playing Dominoes with Granny and that she took it very seriously.  When I asked Ryan what he remembered about Walter, he gets this smile on his face and says simply, "He was able to fix anything."  Geneva is famous in Ryan's heart (and stomach) for her apple pie and that she was always there- that it was great to have her so close.

Weezie and Buddy were, for me, surrogate parents.  The kind of people who gave hugs freely and could soothe any hurt with their kisses.  I spent many Saturday nights at their house, eating fried chicken tv dinners on real tv trays, watching The Lawrence Welk Show and singing along.  Afterwards we would color... Weezie always colored beautifully within the lines in small, circular strokes.  I aspired to color as well as she did, and so she would take my tiny hand in hers and show me the way.  Throughout the rest of her life, she was guiding me in much the same way.

Liam lives in Weezie's old house now, her last house.  And he sleeps every night in her room, where I am sure she is looking over him with lipsticked smiles.

And so Ryan and I feel lucky to have Liam's grandparents so nearby, so involved in his life.  Every month on (or very near) the 22nd, we have Mimi, Papa and Grandma over for dinner to thank them for all that they do for us and for their newest grandbaby.  The list is long but includes...
- being there from the time when he was born and then at our house, holding him, loving him, kissing him.
- doing laundry, making meals, cleaning the house up while I healed from the c-section.
- putting Liam to sleep so that Ryan and I could catch just a few extra minutes of sleep. 
- taking care of Lola, our first born.
- driving back and forth, back and forth, from their house to ours.
- Liam sitting so Ryan and I could have "date" nights.
- being an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on.

These dinners have also been fun to premiere "firsts" for Liam John.  First rice cereal.  First green beans.

Then there are the surrogate grandparents that Liam will grow up knowing and loving as well.  Steve and Anita Evans, for example.  Anita, with her uncanny ability to get the little guy to burp and who has watched him when I have been in a bind.

Ron and Marilyn Brewer (with Juliet of course), who are always good for a laugh and a cuddle.

But I have to end with a special shout out of thanks to the two women in Liam's life who look after him the most (aside from us)... his Mimi and his Grandma.  I hope he inherits your goodness, your caring, your selflessness.  Thank you. 

"Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting."  -author unknown   


Lesson well learned.