Lesson #47: November Might Be My Favorite Month

I can barely remember my life without children, and now I can barely imagine it with just one child.  I remember when Liam was just a few weeks old and my sister-in-law Shannon came to visit.  I had a candle burning, calm music playing, and she said, "Oh, it's so nice with just one child, so much easier.  Enjoy it."  I now know what she meant.

Because it's been busy around here, I have neglected posting holiday photos and stories, Liam's second birthday party, summer fun and lots of "firsts" of Lily's.  So please excuse what might seem to be "old news."

Lily was born two weeks before Thanksgiving. For those two weeks and a few more, I had to wear a wound vac 24/7 in order to help heal the caesarian wound that had split.  I thought earlier that I would write about that saga:  the painful re-opening of the wound in my doctor's office, the visits to the Wound Clinic 3 times a week, Ryan having to change the vac pac and it's contents at home.  Yuck.  But I realize that in the end, it's not that important.  And while I'm sure I complained at the time, it seems so trivial now.  There are far more important things to remember.

The day before Thanksgiving we got our family photos taken down the street at Windsor Park by our friend Scott Reynolds.  This is my favorite one... as if Liam is "presenting"his sister to the world :)

 Here are a few more of my favorites...


Look at all that hair on her!

My guys

Little Angel

The holidays seem like a whirlwind now that I think back on them.  Thanksgiving was a nice mellow day at Jodi and Jeff's house.  Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, during the beginning of my favorite season- the holidays.  Jeff, Jodi and Jerremiah were wonderful hosts for this special day...they have a great way of making things nice and easy at their home.  I remember being particularly tired that day, and sore from the wound vac, and I was able to just relax over there.  I am proud to report that our little turkey behaved herself, napping on anyone who would allow it, especially Daddy.

I have no idea what is on Ryan's head.

Thanksgiving family photo

Later that evening we had Grandma, Mimi and Papa over for dinner- the first grandparents' dinner with little Lily.  I cannot express in words (written or spoken) how grateful I am to have these three wonderful people in my life, and in my childrens' as well.  They bring silliness with them, and much wisdom and care.  Grandparents are perhaps the greatest gift a child could know. 

I love this picture... 

Lots of good times have happened at this kitchen table (and just look at that centerpiece)..

Two Thanksgivings are better than one, so the next day we celebrated again at our friends Marilyn and Ron's house and the wee little girl charmed everyone...

Oh life is so hard when you're a fashionista!

It meant a lot to me that my aunt Pam was there celebrating with us.  I love this photo of my mom, her sister and little Lily.  The women in my family have always had a special bond, and I know that Lily can feel it, even when she is this little.  I only wish my sister Amy could have been with us that day to round out the Yax clan.

3 Yax women

An extra special moment that day was when Marilyn's mother, Bernice, had some one-on-one time with Lily. Marilyn is like a second mom to me, so I honor her mother as Lily's adoptive great-grandmother. 

I wonder what secrets Bernice is letting her in on

The holiday season was special this year because of our new addition.  I was on maternity leave and so I'm sure that plays into my memory of it being a very "chill" winter.  Of course, Liam at almost two years old was a bit of a handful, but we fell into a routine pretty quickly.  There was a lot of time to cuddle... 

When cuddling became too much for her, she would just kind of pass out on people.  Here she is with Anita "Nina" while Anita is trying to burp her.

Cuddle time continued with Aunt Amy...

And with my good friend Tammie, a former Delta Delta Delta sister...

And with my great friend Carrie, a mother of 3 boys.  I think she likes holding a girl for once...

Of course Aunt Shannon got to get her cuddle time in too.  I love this picture of Shannon because I have one just like it of her holding Liam in this exact way when he was this age.

Perhaps my favorite cuddle picture, however, is this one. Lily and her Papa- could she love him any more?

These days at home in November were also great times to take fun photos of Lily on the changing table, where the best expressions are caught on camera!  This is Lily at about one month.

One of my favorite times right after Thanksgiving is when we go to get our Christmas tree.  This is a Flurry Family tradition.  Lily was just a month old when we headed out to the tree farm outside Smithville with everyone.  It was a little more hectic this year it seemed, but we tried to just take it in stride.  Ryan and I actually didn't chop our tree down there, we chose a Frasier Fur already cut, but it was still fun to take fun photos and watch the boys run around.  

The Bloemkers

Grandma and Liam look ahead at the trees

Lily enjoys just watching the fun

Shhhh... I'm hunting trees

I love this picture of Grandma and some of her boys

The hayride was too much for my wound, but Jeremiah and Benjamin rode up front

Grandma and her girl

Shannon and Dominic have a heart to heart

I remember being so happy, but exhausted this day.  After seeing this picture, I think Lily was too.

Family photo next to our tree

One of the great think about fall is the piles of leaves.  We had a good time just hanging out around home and enjoying the good weather.

Look at my silly boy

Raking leaves proved to be too exhausting for Lily

November 2012 will always be the month that Lily came into our world.  And with her, it brought beautiful fall weather, quiet snuggly days at home, a wonderful Thanksgiving and endless daily adventures.  November is quickly becoming my favorite month.  Lesson well learned.

Ryan gives Lily her first bottle, age 2 weeks.

Lesson #46: Be Careful What You Wish For

My friends Stacey Lukas and Marilyn Brewer threw a baby shower for me when I was pregnant with Liam (and a Sip and See for Lily) that encouraged friends to bring books instead of cards, and I am soooo glad they did; the library Liam has had since before he was born has been so fun to explore.  

A few weeks ago, Liam became obsessed with trains, and now it is "whoo whoo" every day, more times to count! So it was only a matter of time until he found the book on his shelf called "The Little Engine That Could", given to him by his cousin Jenny Stoddard.  

"The Little Engine That Could" is wordy.  It is touching.  It has a teachable lesson that anything is possible if "we think we can."  Did I mention it is wordy?  I mean, I love the book.  But reading it to a two-year-old can be a long process.  Still, it is a great story and he doesn't know yet that I skip paragraphs here and there.

Liam loves the book too.  He loves the movie on Netflix as well.  In fact he loves the book so much that he insisted on having it in his bed (he's become a bit of a hoarder).  So I let him have it because far be it from me to keep him from his literary appetites.  

Three days ago after nap...

Me:  Hi sweetie! 

Liam (from his crib):  Whoo Whoo!

Me:  Yes, I know.  You love trains.

Liam:  No... Whoooo Whoooo! (and then he pointed to his mouth)

Me:  Give me a hug and kiss and a squeeze.

Liam (in a more insistent voice and with a devilish grin on his face):  WHOO WHOO MOMMY! (more pointing to his mouth)

Me: (grasping for questions to prompt him further) You want to watch the train episode of "Bubble Guppies?"

Liam:  NOOOOO... WHOO WHOO MOMMY (pointing to his mouth).

Finally, it hit me like, well, a locomotive.

Me:  Liam, where is your train book?

Liam: (looking very pleased with himself and opening his mouth wide)  Whoo Whoo!

Me:  Did you eat your train book?

Liam:  Hahahahahahahaha...whoooooo whoooooo!

I spent the next few minutes sweeping his mouth for remnants, combing his crib for scraps and putting the pieces of this puzzle back together.  This was all that was left of page 3.

I wanted my son to have a voracious appetite for reading.  Be careful what you wish for.  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #45: Summer School Isn't Always a Bad Thing

I have neglected this blog.  I feel guilty but know that everyone who reads this will understand that the past 7 months with our little girl and her brother have been wonderfully chaotic, exhausting, exciting and more!  I still have to write about the holidays.  I still have to write about Liam's second birthday party.  I still want to write about all of Lily's "firsts", but right now, I have to write about Liam's first day of school.

Parents Day Out is perhaps the best invention since Sonic Diet Dr. Peppers at happy hour.  This past Tuesday Liam began his PDO adventure at Prairie Baptist Early Childcare Center (PECC for short) and we couldn't be happier.  Ryan and I decided that it would be good for him to get a bit more socialization- pretty hysterical really since he doesn't seem to know a stranger and he and his cousins have been socializing for years!  Several recommendations and hours of research later, we enrolled him at PECC, which is located up the street at 75th and Roe- a good walking distance if we have the time and energy.

I spent most of Monday getting ready for his big day, complete with supplies, packed lunch of finger foods, labeled extra clothes, a binkie, his doggy, and beautifully monogrammed linens (thanks Kelly Talbott!).  All were packed in monogrammed coordinating bags and new lunch tote, with his monkey backpack for him to wear. Yes, I am a coordinating freak.  It's a problem.

We had been talking to Liam for days about school.  We pointed it out every time we drove by it on 75th Street.  We paid special attention to the part in Bubble Guppies (his favorite show) where they swim to school.  We talked about how Mommy would drop him off so he could play and learn and then she would pick him back up.  He was good to go.

Of course, Rip Van Flurry sleeps until about 8am every day and hates it when you get him up before he is ready.  He talks to his stuffed animals, plays with his Lightning MacQueen car and reads books until he finally decides to call for us.  So he woke up earlier than he wanted and was in slow motion on Tuesday morning.  He ate his yogurt like a snail.  But then he was finally ready.

Yes, I fixed his hair.  Don't judge... I wanted him to be a little rock n' roll from the neck up.

When we pulled up, he was excited and supper sweet.  This is my favorite photo of the morning...

But Daddy can only hold your hand for so long until you have to do things on your own...

He looks such a big boy and such a little guy all at the same time...

Inside it was total chaos.  His classroom is great- round tables perfect for arts and crafts, a little kitchen for inspiring cooks, storytime mat and a separate room for naps.  But nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to a train table.  I mean, come on.

When we arrived we dropped off our supplies, put his backpack in the other room and were encouraged to make a quick goodbye.  He was fine when we arrived and went straight to playing.  But then a little boy named Bennett started crying loudly and so when he saw that we were leaving and that Bennett was crying, he figured he would join in.  It was crying madness.

We waved to him from the window outside and he was just sitting on the ground with his hands on his knees, bawling.  I held it together until I began to drive away.  Then I was the one bawling.

I pulled it together by the time Ryan, Lily and I met Mimi at First Watch just two miles away.  And before we ordered, I received a call from Miss Nancy, Liam's teacher, assuring me that he was good and had stopped crying within a few minutes.

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur.  I ran errands while Mimi stayed with a sleeping Lily.  I came back and she was still sleeping so our "Girls Day Out" never really happened.   2:30pm crept slowly, but finally it was time to go get our little monkey.

When we arrived, he came running up yelling "Mommy, Daddy" and then proceeded to stop about a foot away and just smile, then turned promptly and returned to the train table.  So much for hugs hello :)

Miss Nancy summed up his day with information like, "He was great.  He likes the trains.  He didn't sleep but he did rest.  No, he wasn't upset, he just liked to talk during nap time."

We collected his things, including his first arts and craft project, a little polka dotted butterfly, and headed home where he proceeded to take a 2 1/2 hour nap.

Liam told me today that he wants "mooooore skooooool"!  I think he's hooked on education.  Summer school isn't always a bad thing.  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #44: Just Breathe

First "official" family photo on November 7, 2012

Lily is 4 months old today and so it makes sense that I should finally write about her birth!  The past 4 months have been a whirlwind of highs and lows (mostly highs), the holidays, bottle boot camp,  Liam's second birthday party and fantastic winter fun.  I went back to work a few weeks ago and while it is always good to see my students and return to a job I love, I  really miss being at home with the kids.  "The kids" is still freaky to say, much less put in print!  Yes, we have "kids" with an "s".  Yikes!

Leaving for the hospital

Lily's birth was calmer than Liam's nearly two years ago.  It was scheduled.  I knew what was going to happen; I knew what to expect.  We were to report early in the morning.  This time I could shower right before.  This time I wasn't scared, just excited.  This time we were having a little girl.

Reporting to the hospital at 5:30am

We spent some time in the pre-op room and were visited by our OBGYN, the wonderful Dr. Cristine Carraker.  I love this woman.  She's a spitfire, and someone I completely trust.  She had her only daughter at age 40 and so I feel like she really understands me.  

Right before surgery with Dr. C.

Grandma Becky was home taking care of Liam (still asleep at this point), but Mimi came to the hospital for the birth.  We told her she didn't have to, but I was secretly very happy to have Mom there.  It made me feel better just knowing she was near.  It doesn't matter how old you get, sometimes you just need your mom.

A mother's support

They wheeled me into the operating room and began to give me the epidural.  The doctor watched as a resident put the needle in and explained that I would soon be feeling it.  I didn't.  I told him I didn't.  He told me to give it some more time, and I did.  But it still didn't work.  The third try did the trick.

By the time Ryan arrived, looking adorable as ever in his scrubs, I couldn't feel anything below my chest. But I could feel plenty above it... anxious, excited, extreme cold to mention only a few.  They prepared for my chills by putting warming blankets on me and even blew warm air through a tube underneath the blankets.  It helped.

 

Dr. Cariker arrived and we were ready to roll.  She got on her little stepstool (she's a short little thing) and began the surgery.  I felt very well cared for.  They even brought in a monitor for my heart and  a crash cart as well since I had that very strange heart episode earlier this fall.  I kept looking at the clock, and at Ryan, and listening for the signs that she was out.  Instead, I heard about the types of coffee that Dr. Cariker and her colleague had that morning on their way to work and the new dog that her colleague was getting later that week.  It was kind of cool actually, that they felt comfortable enough to discuss the daily things. 

Coffee talk ceased when Lily was ready to come out.  Dr. C. said, "We're getting close."  Ryan squeezed my hand and I looked at the clock. It was 8:00am. 

And then our world changed.   Again.

I heard, Dr. Cariker said, "Whoa... she's a big girl!  Look at that!  I bet she's a 10 pounder!"  I laughed and began tearing up and strained to see her.  Then I heard her cry.  And I cried too.

They rounded it up to 9 pounds, 9 ounces.

Ryan left to go with Lily to the nursery and watch her get her first bath while they finished the surgery.  I got the shakes again, but I didn't care.  I knew that I had just given birth to a beautifully big, healthy girl, and that it was the last time I would experience this feeling.  I really wanted to soak up every feeling I was having; to be truly present in the moment and enjoy all that it offered.

Next, they wheeled me to Recovery and Ryan and Lily met me there.  She took like a natural to nursing and we spent the next couple of hours just being together.

 



First photo with Daddy in recovery room. 



Me and my little girl

When we arrived in our hospital room it was about 10:30am, but it felt like midnight.  Still, I was really excited for the visitors that I knew would arrive shortly.  And boy did they!  It was beautiful to see all of the people who love us and in turn, our daughter. 

First of course, were some very happy and proud grandparents...

Grandma Becky holds her fifth grandbaby in her arms

Mimi and Papa look perfect with little Lily

And then came all of the special people in our life...

The Lukas ladies were some of the first to arrive!

I think these two are going to be good friends

Rosemary's got the touch

Proud Marilyn "Franny" and Ron "Fruncle"



My brother Matt getting a snuggle



I can remember when Leah was this tiny!  She's a senior now!

Aunt Pammy and Mimi and Lily... Yax women rock!

Aunty Cathy looks right at home with a baby girl!

The Stoddards brought lots of great gifts and lots of love

As wonderful as it was to see everybody, my favorite visitor had yet to arrive.  Liam was coming to meet his little sister after naptime and I couldn't wait!  He had spent months patting my belly, smiling when we mentioned her name, and sat through countless talks at bedtime about sharing and loving little Lily when she arrived.

From the moment he stepped in the room and saw Lily, he loved her.  We could just tell.  He smiled and held her hand and tried to hold her.  He was hesitant at first, but that's to be expected. And now he proudly shows her off to anyone who is around :)

As much as I knew that Liam would instantly fall in love with his baby sister, I hoped it would be the same with the three Flurry cousins.  I figured that Benjamin would love her, as he always asked about how I was feeling when I was pregnant and if I thought Lily would like Star Wars.  He's such a sweetheart.  Dominic is our jokester.  When I was pregnant, Dominic is the one that said oh-so-dryly, "Annie, you're getting really fat." And then he would laugh and laugh!  I figured Dom would be cool with her as well.  I was right.  They were adorable...

Benjamin, as the oldest cousin, is a pro at holding babies.

Dominic even wrote Lily a letter!

But to be honest, Jeremiah was the one I was worried about.  For months, Jodi warned me that we should avoid bringing up the gender of Baby Flurry in front of Jeremiah because he really didn't want it to be a girl.  So I practiced my neutral pronouns ("Yes, Jeremiah I am excited for it to arrive" for example).  We all knew that eventually Jeb would get on board the girl train, but we wanted to ease him into it.  Jodi's concerns were certainly warranted; Jeremiah was less than happy... just look at his face.  

Not even Ryan could convince him

"I'm not sure about this one," he's thinking.

I am happy to report that within days (it might have been hours), Jeremiah came around.  And by the time she came home from the hospital he was hugging her and holding her and kissing on her.  She has him wrapped around her tiny finger ever since and it is absolutely adorable to watch him with her.

Did I mention how Shannon and Jodi took to her?  I picture Lily in the future calling up her aunts to cry about how mean I'm being to her and how I just don't understand what she's going through.  They will listen and maybe take her for some ice cream or for coffee or something, and she will always know that they love her.

The rest of the day is a blur of feedings, laughter, tears, occasional pain (and subsequent self-medication dosage), and cake-eating.  Mimi brought a very special birthday cake for Lily.

Daddy John and Lily share the same birthday.
 

Papa and the boys enjoyed the cake

Later, it was time to get some exercise and walk off the cake...

One of my favorite photos of the day- Ryan and the boys

That evening after all the guests had left, Lily went to the nursery and they brought her every three hours to eat.  She was a good eater when she was able to stay awake.  By morning though, we both needed a nap.

Like mother, like daughter

By the next day the Presidential election was over (yes, Obama won), I was able to get out of bed and take a shower,  and it was Sporting KC's playoff game.  A recent fan, Ryan had made a very important purchase prior to Lily's birth.  

I love how he put the pink socks on her to make it more girly

Sporting KC nerds

Dressed in our new duds, we kept busy with more visits from our loved ones.

Pam shows her off to Uncle Tony

Liam giving high fives

Matt and Jessica Bryon meet our wee one

It was great to see everyone again, but I was really most excited for my sister Amy to arrive.  It's almost as if events in my life aren't quite real until Amy is there to share in it.  And then she arrived, appropriately loving on Liam (her little monkey) as much as her new little niece.  

Look of love

"You're not a little monkey- you're a BIG monkey!"

We spent the rest of the day just enjoying Liam's interaction with Lily.

Tiny little binkie

I got this, Dad.

I'm taking her on a walk.  Later guys.

Ryan and his little monkeys.

Amy shows off her latest purchases.

Sleeping beauty.

After another good night of feedings, Thursday morning Ryan went to work for awhile and Amy came by for some one-on-one time (well, one-on-one and a munchkin time).  We took some photos of one another with the peanut, including the traditional self-photos. Then, the photographer from Bella Baby came by to snap some shots of Lily as well.  They turned out great and we used a couple of them for her birth announcement too.

Cheeks Magoo.

Mommy and Lily

The inevitable self photo

She was perfect for the photographer, even
if she put her in a Moses basket.

I love this hat.

This is my favorite picture of the two of them.

I should mention here that it was Thursday night by this time, we were being discharged in the morning, and I was feeling great.  I mean, it was still a kind of "I feel great for having just had a C-section" kind of great, but all in all I was doing really well.  

I could not wait to get home and get started living as a family of four (and Lola of course).

Friday morning arrived and we started packing.  I had showered, Amy and Mimi and Papa were there helping, and we had begun the long process of being discharged from the hospital.  We had said our goodbyes to the nurses (who I cannot say enough good things about), signed a bunch of paperwork, and were now given the final thumbs up to go.  

Just then when I got up from the bed, just like I had done countless times before in the past few days, I felt wet.  As if I had spilled water on my lap or something.  Wearing black I couldn't tell right away, but my incision had opened up and a large fluid pocket underneath the incision had begun to ooze.  

The nurse was called back in, checked the incision and made the difficult but correct decision to pull the discharge and get a doctor up to see me.  

That took four hours.  Four hours just for the doctor to arrive.

She determined that the oozing was significant and called for a consult from the Wound Care Clinic.  That took another hour.

The Wound Care nurse told us that we would need to pack the wound this weekend and come to the WCC on Monday.  I was devastated.  It was not the way I had hoped to leave the hospital and my spirits were really low.  The saga of the wound's eventual healing is a long and somewhat interesting one, but I will save that for a later post.  

Point is, we could finally leave.  It was 5pm on Friday, November 9th.  Here is the final hospital picture of us right before we left.

Exhausted, but happy to be heading home.

Ryan packed Lily up and it wasn't nearly as difficult as with Liam, when we had no idea really what we were doing.

Peek a boo

We brought our baby girl home on a crisp fall day and set her amidst the mums and the falling leaves.  Liam came out to greet her and we took the first picture of our children, side by side at home. 

And I looked at them, took a deep breath in, and then exhaled.  Because I knew that this was my family now;  it is perfect.  

Even as I finish this post, I am purposefully breathing slowly, in and out, taking it all in, acutely aware of fleeting time and reminded to not waste a moment.  My daughter taught me that.

Lesson well learned.