Lesson #40: Special Celebrations Make for Great Memories!

Lily one month before her due date

I haven't posted a new blog in awhile.  I have started many entries, including this one, and think now that I will be posting several more before little Lily arrives in just 12 days just to catch up .  There are lots of reasons for my procrastination (fatigue, overwhelmed at school, grading piled up, getting the nursery ready, etc. etc.)- but as I tell my students all the time, "Those are reasons, but not excuses." So here goes.

This blog is all about special celebrations:  a sprinkle and three birthday parties!  Two weeks ago, my beautiful friend Jessica Brooks Bryon threw me a sprinkle.  A sprinkle is a small baby shower that is thrown for a second (or third, or fourth, or so on) baby.  Several friends and family members joined us at Blue Bird Bistro on a lovely Saturday morning for brunch and celebration.  It was a very special couple of hours and I couldn't have had a better time.

Jessica made these gorgeous centerpieces herself!

Mom and Jodi toasting with brunch cocktails!

That weekend, several of the women invited were out of town, including all the "Flurry" women except my lovely sister-in-law Jodi.  She represented Ryan's side of the family with charm and grace, and was the social butterfly of the day.  Thank you Jodi for representing the other women so well!

Marilyn, Stacey and Vivi have been mentioned in many other posts in my blog.  But this is the first time in awhile that we all could be together for a photo.  Marilyn, as many of you know, is someone I call my "Fr-om" (friend and mom) and Liam knows her as "Franny" (his friend and granny).  I am so lucky to know her, to have her in my life and to know that she will always be in Liam and Lily's as well.  Stacey (with her gorgeous daughter Vivi pictured) has seen me go through it all- crazy boyfriends, first time home ownership, more crazy boyfriends, and all my highs and lows.  And I feel grateful for all of the times she and Marilyn have been there for me.

Marilyn calls my sister Amy, me and Stacey her "Fraughters"- so it was a wonderful opportunity to grab this photo opp with our From and two of her Fraughters (and grandfraughters)!

Marilyn, Me, Vivi and Stacey

And then there are the exceptional friends I have met through education in some way.  Tammie Sinkler and I have known each other since KU, where we were Tri Delts together.  We eventually joined each other in English Ed classes and even donned stripes to work at TGIFridays during our student teaching years.  Eventually, she came to her senses and began teaching at SM West with me for many years!  Carrie Parazin and Krissie Kiehne joined the SM West staff years ago as well and I miss them every day in our halls... fortunately, we have book club and play dates and movie nights together these days.  I respect these women for all of the fabulous roles they balance so well every day, especially the commitment they have made to their families and children.  Finally, there is Cathy Sheridan, my dear, dear friend, who I met almost (gulp) 20 years ago when I was student teaching at West and she was a first year teacher there.  I knew from the moment I met her that she was another sister to me, one that continues to show integrity and grace in absolutely everything she does.  Cathy is my rock, plain and simple, a woman who I continue to admire every day.  Thank you ladies for being such a dear part of my life.

Tammie, Carrie, Me, Cathy and Krissie

And here is Jessica, the hostess extraordinaire!  She put such time and love into this sprinkle (as she does in all she cares about), and it really showed.  I met this woman during the summer of 2007, but it feels like I have known her my whole life :)  Thank you my sweet friend for always being there with an open ear, great advice and a sangria whenever needed.

Jessica and Me

One of my all time favorite moments of the day was when my gorgeous (and fashionable) Aunt Pam walked into the sprinkle a wee bit late, and Vivi looked at her and exclaimed, "She looks just like my Hello Kitty!"  At first I laughed it off as yet another funny comment from the most beautifully verbal 3 year old I have ever met.  But then, as I focused on the huge Hello Kitty doll's sparkling orange ensemble and I looked over at Pam,  I realized that Miss Vivienne was right.

Vivi and her twins

Sisters in fashion

Another unforgettable, and much more serious moment of the day was during the opening of gifts. Designer diaper bags, little frilly outfits for Lily, a double monitor and more were opened.  But the  most touching part was when I opening Pam's gift.  It was a very small ring box, with a pink note simply saying "a gift from Weezie".  And inside was my grandmother's engagement ring.  Simple.  Beautiful.  Lovely.  And the tears flowed.

A big hug of thanks

Jessica avoided silly shower games, but came up with a great way to get everyone talking. She had them all write down phrases that Lily will eventually say to me (good and bad).  It was great- the ladies' responses ranged from the word "Whatever!" (I hear it all the time at school) to "Can I get that on the side?" (the inevitable response to my food weirdnesses) to "I love you oodles and gobs" (which is what Weezie always said to us and the way I say goodnight to Liam every evening).

The rest of the sprinkle included bloody marys and mimosas, a fabulous brunch, yummy cake and ladybug cookies, and great conversation.  It was a perfect day.  Thank you to everyone who came to help celebrate and to those that couldn't make it but sent sweet wishes and gifts our way. 

3 of my favorite women ever- Rosemary, Anita and my beautiful mom

Aren't the cookies adorable?  I love a good theme!

Just two weekends before the sprinkle, we got to celebrate Vivi's 3rd birthday with a fun fairies and treehouse party at Stacey's house.  Ryan built the treehouse and I styled it.  It was a blast to see how much this little princess loved trying it out.  The day was really beautiful- perfect weather, great cupcakes, several little ones running around enjoying themselves, and lots of adults there to share the love.

Mommy and Vivi in the new treehouse

The completed treehouse

Even the treehouse got dressed up for the party

I love this pic of the birthday girl

The sandbox was Liam's favorite

I love this caboose!

Vivi and Lily D. flitting around in fairy costumes

Favorite pic of the day- future couple perhaps?

Trying out the treehouse for himself

The adults enjoyed time in the treehouse as well!

Liam with his Mimi and Papa

Swing time, just us guys



First juice box



Tea time with Daddy

Our little goofball

With the guest of honor

In more birthday party news, Liam attended his first Luau earlier this school year.  It was Lily Donakowski's 2nd birthday party (yes, his "girlfriend" from the treehouse) and she and her mommy Emily and daddy Jough invited the whole family over for the festivities.  Liam loves the water and was really happy to get to swim in the little pool.  He was not as happy, however, to have to share it with Viiv and the birthday girl! 

But of course, he came around.

And he REALLY came around when the cupcakes were served and the drums were found.

 It was a really fun day, and men (boys) and women alike even embraced the luau theme!

Actually, they both look kind of mad to have been forced to dress up!

But the ladies loved it!

I turned the big 4-2 last Tuesday, October 16th.  I figured it would be a little anticlimactic since I am nine months pregnant and we have so much else on our plate these days.  But my amazing husband Ryan would make sure it was anything but dull.  On Saturday, he arranged to have Grandma watch Liam while he surprised me with a room at the historic Hotel Phillips, an in-room massage, a lovely dinner at Lidia's and tickets to see Norah Jones at the Midland.  The next morning we slept late and topped it all off with a waddle around the Plaza and dim sum at Bo Lings.  I couldn't have asked for more.

Breakfast at Hotel Phillips

And yet...

The day of my birthday at school my 2nd block Writer's Workshop students threw me a surprise baby shower, with a cake and everything.  What a wonderful job I have!

And then, on the evening of my birthday, we had steak and lobster on the grill and enjoyed dining outside with Aunt Pam and Uncle Tony, Grandma and Papa.  Even Marilyn stopped by for a bit prior to dinner to celebrate with us!

I love my Franny!

Ryan, the chef, was very focused.

Pam and Tony were special guests.

Uh oh... I think he likes the good stuff!

It was a wonderful birthday, just 3 weeks shy of having Lily join our family.  Special celebrations really do make for great memories.  Lesson well learned.

A snuggle for the birthday Mommy.

Lesson 39 - New bedrooms are better if you help build them yourself

We began the process of preparing Liam's new bedroom over the summer months, as Lily will be taking over his old nursery. Liam has been involved in every step of the construction process.

We decided to move our laundry room and expand an office area to create a nice sized bedroom. The laundry area had a sloping floor, so we had to even out the floor to get it ready for carpet. Liam helped clean up the area as we prepared to pour a new floor.

We also had to remove the old door to the laundry room and Sheetrock over the hole it left. Liam loved using the crowbar to help tear out the old door frame. It has become one of his favorite toys.

The old laundry room shared a wall with a bathroom, so we decided to create a door from Liam's new bedroom into the bathroom. Liam was fine with the pint-sized door, but we thought a full-size door would be prudent.

We built a set of bookshelves and cabinets into a wall space that allows for easy access to our main sewer clean out. Liam saw me use the screwdriver to attach the bookshelves, and still goes to the bookshelves anytime he is given a screwdriver to play with. This is also when the headlamp became a necessary item for any "work" he does.

Still wearing the headlamp as he cuts trim with he great-great-great-grandfather's mitre box. This mitre box has been used to cut trim for at least six generations, and was likely used to help build the church where he was baptized.

Happy boy with his headlamp still working on the bookshelves.

Liam has become very cognizant of what is needed for a project. I was working on putting the light fixture in his closet, and he brought me a handful of wire nuts without prompting. He must have seen me use them in other electrical projects.

Finishing up the trim on the built-in bookshelves/cabinets. There are a few extra dents in the trim. His fine motor skills have become very good, as he can now hit a nail repeatedly.

Liam has even become an accomplished painter. The little brush is the type you would use for watercolors. He would dip his brush very gingerly into the paint can and just paint away.

Part of the finished product. Annie bought the little workbench on the right at a garage sale. He loves it. It allows him to keep working on the room he has been helping build over the past few months. The transition to the new room was smooth and without any complaints from Liam. When asked, "Where is baby Lily's room?," he points to his old nursery. New bedrooms are better when you get to help build them yourself.

Lesson 38- The Greatest Wealth Is Our Health

On Monday, August 20th, I was teaching my block 4 English 11 AP students, when I felt a sudden and quick beating of my heart.  It's a cliche, but I felt like my heart was pounding out of my chest.  I took a few deep breaths, went to the bathroom and practiced some yoga breathing, drank a glass of water, but nothing seemed to help.  An assessment from the school nurse showed my heart rate was 160 and steady at 160.  I rested in her office until Ryan picked me up for our appointment with my OB.  The entire time I was in the backroom of Nurse Wanda's room, I was thinking to myself, please let the baby be okay.  I couldn't sleep because when I would rest on the horrible student cot, I could feel my heartbeat in every part of my body... it was a very strange feeling.  My heart was pounding in my ear, on the side of my face and hip, all the way down to my feet.  God knows I haven't worked out in months, but it was that same feeling after you do sprints or stairmaster or boxing.  But it didn't stop. 

At Dr. Carriker's office, now two hours after I first felt the elevated heart rate, the physician's assistant took my pulse with her cute little white Swatch watch.  Her eyes widened and after she was finished and I asked her what it was, she simply replied, "Yes, it's high," and quickly left the room to find the doctor. 

Now I was scared. 

So I turned to Ryan."Will you take my pulse to see what it is now?"

He smiled from across the room and said, "I have been; I've been watching your boobs move with every heartbeat." 

I looked down and sure enough, my clothing was "bouncing" with every one of the beats.  It was kind of funny.  I giggled at first, and then I became more scared. 

And, like it always does, my mind began to play tricks on me.  I had felt Lily moving and kicking all around during the morning, but couldn't remember feeling her in the last hour or so.  Had I been thinking rationally at the time, I would have realized that I never really felt her much at this time of the day.  But I thought something had gone wrong.

Just then, Dr. Carriker walked in and said that the next step was whether she should send me to Labor and Delivery or the Emergency Room.  My heart rate was now 180.

"Are we already at that step?" I asked incredulously.  I think I thought she could just do something in her office to fix this. 

"Yes, definitely," she said.  And it was decided that Labor and Delivery was more appropriate (more on that later).  I began crying quietly and they suggested that we use the back door of the office to leave by and that I walk very slowly. 

At Labor and Delivery, I became very tired.  It had been several hours at a steady 180 heart rate, so it seemed natural that I would be fatigued.  Ryan spent the next few minutes calling Hailey, the nanny watching Liam for only the second time, and calling my mom.  He told Mimi that she need not come to the hospital until he knew more and then would let her know.  Next, they put me in a wheelchair and rolled me into a room where the nurse, a lovely woman from Texas named "Fonda", said she hoped there was a heart monitor.  I changed into a lovely green-patterned hospital gown and settled into the bed when she discovered that room didn't have the right equipment.  She wheeled me down to another room, hooked me up to the heart monitors and then put the belt around my belly that would monitor Lily's heart rate as well. 

That was when I heard the most beautiful sound.  The deep thumping of Lily's heart, holding steady at a baby's mellow 140 heart rate.  She was fine.  So I had to cry some more.

Just then, Fonda told us that my parents were waiting outside and would like to come in.  It had to have been less than 30 minutes since Ryan had called Mom, but you can't stop my folks when they are worried and I was so glad to see them.  Sometimes, you just need your mom there, you know?

The next hour or so included monitoring my heart and Lily's, trying to rest, calling Becky to watch Liam (which of course she graciously got in her car and drove from St. Joe to do), and just praying that this wouldn't last much longer.   Fonda expressed concern that we weren't sent to the emergency room, but soon told us that Dr. Carriker had asked for a cardiac consult.  It sounded impressive and scary.  It turned out to be both.

Not long after, a group of people hustled into the room and introduced themselves as "The Heart Team."  Talk about an entrance.  There were four of them and they worked fast.  Things were hooked up to me and the cardiologist, Dr. Moray, tried several techniques to slow my heart down.  She pressed my ankles in weird places, she massaged the left side of my neck, she asked me to cough- but none of them worked.

She diagnosed me with "Supra Ventricular Tachycardia"- a consistent elevated heart rate that is seen sometimes in pregnant women.  The echo cardiogram showed nothing unusual about my heart, and with no history of heart trouble, she concluded this was just one of those fluky kind of things with pregnancy.  Worried it might have been the one caffeine drink I allow myself each day, I asked about that.  She said no, that wasn't it.  That we would probably never know what brought it on.  Next, she told me that they would be doing a "chemical conversion" on my heart.  She described it as the chemical way of shocking the heart back to a normal rhythm.  Suddenly Fonda looked worried and asked Dr. Moray if she thought this was the best place for this procedure.  After a minute of "discussing" it in front of me, Fonda asked to speak to the doctor outside.  It was weird.  And still scary.  I think Fonda was just concerned about liability.  But they worked it out and the conversion commenced.

They put in an IV and told me that I would feel a bit of "discomfort"for a few seconds.  The nurse held my hand, Ryan and Mom were at my side, and I was surrounded by the "Heart Team."  Next thing I knew it felt like someone was squeezing my heart as tight as they could and I guess that I grabbed the nurse's scrub pants in pain (I apologized later).  Apparently my eyes grew pretty wide and just when I was going to tell someone that I think I needed the paddles, I heard Ryan say, "See, it already worked."

My heart rate dropped to 107.

After that, things continued to move quickly.  The Heart Team told me that it shouldn't happen again, but if it did I should report to the emergency room and tell them my history.  Then Dr. Moray told me I could be discharged in the next half hour, after I walked a few laps without passing out.  I passed the test and was home within an hour, with Ryan at my side as he had been all day.  He was a rock and I felt so much better with him there.

Tuesday was spent sleeping off what felt like a marathon hangover while Mimi and Becky watched Liam, and I was back to school on Wednesday.

This pregnancy has been so different from Liam's.  I was scared frequently with Liam because I spotted about 6 times.  But nothing compares to this heart scare.  I am very happy to report that a week and a half later I have not have any more episodes.  But I haven't had a sip of caffeine since, just in case.

The greatest wealth in this world is our health.  Lesson well learned.