Lesson #36- Verbal Ability is Overrated and Our Little Girl Will Be Worth It

Months ago, Liam said his first two words very clearly.  They were "on" and "off." It was one of those moments, the kind you will never forget.  I remember it well- we were in his room and he was playing with the remote that controls the lamps, and when I turned them on, he said, "ON." And when I turned them off, he said... well, you get the idea.

He hasn't said much since.  Not clearly anyway.  And he turned 17 months old two days ago.

The other day I googled "Language Delays in Toddlers".  I was alone at the computer, Liam was asleep and Ryan was at work.  It was no coincidence that I was alone- I am a little embarrassed at my overreaction, but when it comes to Liam, I would rather be laughed at and embarrassed than risk not being on top of what's best for that little guy, so, I googled "Language Delays in Toddlers."

The many, many links that popped up included checklist after checklist.  Here is an example of one from www.babycenter.com :  "Warning Signs of Speech Delays in Toddlers"

12 to 18 months

at 12 months, doesn't use gestures such as waving or shaking her head by 12 months, isn't practicing using at least a couple of consonants (p, b, etc.) by 12 months, isn't somehow communicating to you when she needs help with something at 15 months, doesn't understand and respond to words such as "no" and "bye-bye" by 15 months, can't say at least one to three words by 15 months, doesn't say "mama" or "dada" at 16 months, doesn't point to body parts when asked at 18 months, isn't saying at least 15 words

This made me feel a lot better.  I'll tell you why.  

• Liam has been waving and blowing kisses since he was about 5 months old.  Actually I suspect he was blowing kisses in the womb.
• He has been saying "d" consonant sounds since before he was 9 months old.
• While I wish he would say, "Mommy, please help me with ______________", he does say, "Eh, eh, eh" over and over until I help him out, so I guess that means he is "communicating to you (me) when he needs help with something."
• I am sure that he understands when I say "no" to him- but I am just as sure that he ignores it anyway :)  
• In addition to the "on" and "off" that I mentioned earlier, he does have other words now.  He says "Dada" and "Mama" and "Woof" and "Thanks".  But the one I am most proud of is his recent new word.... "Cheers"!  Now of course, these aren't particularly clear, but we know what he means.
• (see above bullet point)
• He's been pointing to body parts most of his life.  His favorite new one is his penis.  He knows where it is, what it's called and as of now, believes it's main function is to entertain him by pushing in on the tip of it whenever he is naked.  He's a guy.  What are you gonna do?  Speaking of body parts, he also knows fingers, tummy, hair, head, ears and nose.  But only other people's noses, he hasn't quite figured out where his own is.  He has it confused with his ear.  But still, the kid is anatomically smart.
• We have one more month to worry about the last bulleted warning sign.

So you can understand why this made me feel better.  It went on to suggest that reading is by far the best way to encourage language development.   Sometimes we ask friends to join us for reading time, like Reid Scholtes, 5 1/2 months Liam's junior who says a few words himself.    

But sometimes, reading is just a thing best done alone.

A couple of days after the googling incident, Ryan and I attended a friend's wedding.  There was a pediatrician at the table.  I would like to tell you that I ignored her profession, did not pester her regarding toddler language delay and stuck to subjects like the bridesmaids' dresses and the weather.  But I didn't.

Happily, she confirmed what the checklist had already told me.  Liam is fine.  His language is fine.  And soon, probably very soon, he will wake up and just start talking non stop.

The next day, he said "Cheers" for the first time!  Good boy.  Verbal ability IS overrated.  Lesson well learned.

PS:  I promised myself when I started this blog that it would be authentic, no matter what.  So now I feel like I should include the details of the pregnancy with Lily as well.  In a nutshell, here it is.

Weeks 1-20 

- Included nausea without vomiting, moodiness so bad that I am just grateful Ryan didn't leave and only return when I promised to stop crying, and a shocking lack of cravings except for macaroni and cheese (but probably only because it was one of the few things I could eat that didn't make me feel sick).

- A 3 pound weight gain, the only benefit of no cravings

- Flutterings beginning around week 14, with major "kicks" around week 16.

- And, of course, daily feelings of gratitude and blessing that our little girl was cooking along just fine and a sigh of relief after every test and ultrasound that confirmed that.

Week 20, day 5

- My world changed when my sister, Emily, suggested that I give up milk in the morning on an empty stomach, thinking that what I was feeling was lactose intolerance.  The thought of waking up the next  (and perhaps every) day without my daily skim milk fix worried me but I figured what the hell, it might help.  And it did!  I haven't been sick since.  And I even have tested the theory with an occasional glass in the late afternoon on a full stomach without any side effects.  Thanks Em!

Weeks 20-25 (current)

- One more pound gained (still very good they tell me), although my growing belly by the day is going to make that trend impossible to continue.

- Kicks that Ryan can feel by putting his hand on my belly.

- An old symptom from my first pregnancy has reared its ugly head again- carpel tunnel syndrome.  That's right everyone, the numb hands are back, especially when I sleep.  But so far, it's not too bad.  Just annoying.  And Ryan is probably annoyed when my shaking of my hands in the middle of the night wakes him up :)

- A new, not so fun symptom has begun.  Apparently, Lily is choosing to hang out in the lower part of my uterus, putting a lot of pressure on my pelvis.  I wake up in the morning feeling like I've ridden the frickin' Tour de France (and I'm no Lance Armstrong)!  It's particularly bad while I sleep (so I don't very well), when I first wake up and if I've been walking or sitting too long.

But even though it's been a little rough this time around, I feel bad complaining.  I am blessed.  I am healthy.  Liam and Lola and Ryan are healthy.  And Lily is healthy.  That's all that matters.  

So while the rest of the country is focused on the Elections on Tuesday, November 6th, we will be meeting our little girl.  Scheduled C-Section at 12:30 PM already on the books.  And I know that our little girl will be worth it.  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #35- What's in a Name?

First things first, it's a girl!  Officially.  100%, no silly 95% anymore... it's a girl.  This picture was clearly taken when we had the "95%" bet.  Her name will be Lillian Louise Flurry ("Lily" for short).  I must have a thing for "L" names with 4 letters.  

Lillian was Ryan's maternal grandmother's name, although she went by "Geneva". Apparently she chose Geneva because she hated Lillian.  Oops.  It's the thought that counts, right?  

My memories of Geneva are few but special.  She had a beautiful smile.  She gave great hugs.  She was a teacher and spoke to me the first time I met her about teaching in a one-room schoolhouse.  In fact, St. Joe is peppered with former students of hers still.  She was an incredible mother to Becky, Nancy and Marcia and instilled in them a love of family and a sense of community.  The three sisters have been wonderful additions to my life, especially Becky, the best mother-in-law I could ask for.  

Geneva was the matriarch, the queen bee, the one that led the way with grace and sass.  

Speaking of sass, my favorite memory of Geneva was when we were waiting for Ryan to pass by in the annual tractor parade.  I had just returned from a trip to Fiji, New Zealand and Australia and I was telling the group about it.  Jeremiah was there, just a newborn, and Becky, Jenny and Jodi.  We were waiting in the Dairy Queen parking lot and I was talking a mile a minute.  I remember being excited telling Geneva about it, who smiled and nodded as if she really cared.  Then, after awhile, she looked me in the eye and said, "Annie, shut up."

Huh?

Jodi was appalled.  Becky was embarrassed.  I was shocked.  And then I laughed and, of course, shut up.

Everyone who heard the story agreed that I was officially in Geneva's good graces.  Apparently, she saved all sass for family members.

Lillian Geneva passed away just two weeks before Ryan proposed to me.  He mentioned on our engagement trip that he wished he had told her his plans to propose; that he wished she knew that I would become a member of their family.   But I think she knew.  I think she, like my own grandma Weezie as well as our fathers Dolph and John, had a deliberate hand in it.

Lily's middle name "Louise" is in honor of my maternal grandmother, Louise "Weezie" Yax, the most beautiful woman I have ever known, inside and out.  Weezie was an everyday part of my life growing up; we were lucky to see her several times a week throughout our lives.  She and my grandpa Buddy lived just a few miles from us, and we would visit them all of the time.  

Weezie always smelled good, like flowers and love.  She never had a gray hair on her head and she had incredibly soft hands.  She carried her lipstick around in a little case with a mirror and reapplied often.  And she could color better than anyone I knew.  

Weezie taught me about faith- in God, in family and in humankind.  She tolerated no unkindness and showed only patience and love. 

And perhaps most importantly, she raised her four children that way, my mom being one of them.  The one who raised me with the same faith and kindness, patience and love.  Mom and Weezie were two peas in a pod and each other's best friends.

In fact, my mom's middle name is Louise.  And my sister Amy's middle name is Louise. Even Lola, my dog's middle name is Louise. And my Uncle Bob just reminded me that my dad's grandmother was Louise "Lou" Anderson Heidersbach. So choosing that for Lily's middle name seemed fitting.  It honors all of the women in my life who I adore, the ones who have taught me so much and who I know will teach Lily just as much about faith and kindness, patience and love.

My sweet Weezie died in February of 2007.  She passed away in the last house she lived in- the same one we live in now.  She passed away quietly and peacefully in her bedroom- the same one that Liam sleeps in now.  I believe that she looks over him every night as he dreams about all of his ancestors that he will never meet but who influence his life every day in quiet ways and through those still here to make sure their lessons live on.

I wish that Lillian Louise could have many more names, named after the women in my life who I love, who have loved me.  Named for the women in my family and those who would be blood-related if I had my choice.  I would name her...

Lillian Louise Patricia Amy Rebecca Dorothy Margaret Anita Marilyn Pamela Rosemary Shannon Jodi Marcia Nancy Cathy Stacey Jessica Jenny Sarah Carol Kristin Emily Alison Thu Maya and so on....

But that would be crazy.  And it wouldn't fit on standard forms.  

What's in a name?  A lot.  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #34: 95% Ain't Bad

My grandma Weezie was a gambler.  She loved the slots.  And I have always said that if I had one vice that I could develop in time, it would be gambling.  Therefore, I avoid casinos most of the time.  So when Renee, our wonderful sonogram technician, announced that she was 95%sure that the baby is a girl, I thought, "I'll take those odds."

A 95% in the classroom is an "A."  Heck, it's almost an A+.  Some of my Advanced Students would KILL for a 95% on anything in my class.  So again, I'll take it.

Ryan however is not the gambler I am.  He wanted to wait until we were 100% sure to announce it, to buy anything, etc.  But we compromised.  We announced it, making sure to inform everyone that it could still be wrong.  And we are keeping the receipts.

June 27th is our next appointment for a sonogram.  This is a Level II sonogram that is very long and very detailed, detecting chambers of the heart and so on.  It can measure blood flow in the baby's small arteries and veins, so certainly, it will be able to tell us if the wee one has a hamburger or a hot dog!

Until then, I say that 95% ain't bad.  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #33 Being a Big Brother Will Be Cool

Tomorrow, at 11:20 am, we will find out the gender of our new baby coming in November.  I am so excited; I can barely contain myself. I am far more excited than the first time with Liam- and I have to remind everyone now that little Mr. Liam was a goofball even in the womb and on the day we were to find out his gender, he modestly crossed his legs for 20 minutes!  

I have been wondering why I am so antsy this time around compared to the last time.  But I think I figured it out... it, as many things in our lives the past 15 months, is because of Liam.  I cannot WAIT to picture him as a big brother.  Will he be the big brother of a little sister or a tiny brother?  For the past several months, I have been trying to imagine the two different scenarios.

A little girl would shake this family up!  Especially the Flurry side, with its four boys five and under.  We are a family of loud boys, of cars and trucks and construction vehicles- and while I am a true believer in giving boys and girls the same opportunities- there is not one tutu, Barbie Doll or even one pink item in their toy chests.  

I know Ryan is nervous to have a girl because he is afraid of the drama, of the clothes that will inevitably fill her closet, of the potential dance recitals and tea parties at which his attendance will be mandatory :)  But I come from a family of strong women.  At times in my life, women were the only gender around, the ones who I looked to for laughter and comfort, for encouragement and support.  The women in my life outside of my family have always been important to me as well.  I need women in my life and the idea of raising a daughter to be a sister, friend, granddaughter it something I look forward to doing.  

I think Liam would be a blast with a little sister- I see him trying to "tough" her up but eventually giving in to an occasional tea party.  You know, kind of like his Daddy.

Most of my friends assume that I want a girl.  You know, one of each.  A tidy little family in balance.  And up until a few months ago, I would say they were right.  But I keep thinking about Liam and a little brother and it makes me smile.

Brothers, I imagine, have a connection that is similar to sisters.  And I have a beautiful and special relationship with my sister Amy.  I crave that for Liam.  I crave to see it.  I look at my two nephews, Benjamin and Dominic and see the beginnings of it for them.  

Besides, one thing that always stays in my mind regarding having sons is that all of those women I talked about before are married to amazing men, men who are strong and loving, who are caring and there for them.  I would be proud to raise a man like that.  I would be proud to raise two of them.  

Brothers would be awesome.  And the cars, trucks and construction vehicles could stick around :).

So it's 9:57 pm and we will know in less than 14 hours.  Here's hoping the goofball doesn't cross his/her legs!  Either way, for Liam, being a big brother will be cool.  Lesson well learned.

Lesson #32 A Lot Can Happen in 3 Months

Our Big News

A couple of weeks ago I was complaining to Ryan about how guilty I felt that I hadn't posted a blog in almost 3 months.  He said, "Maybe it's just something you did for Liam's 1st year."  But that was never my intention- I see this blog as continued documentation of his (and our) lives.  So here goes 3 months of documentation...

First, we are going to have another baby! We announced it to the family by putting a "Big Bro" T-Shirt on Liam and seeing if anyone noticed.  They noticed right away.  Maybe not the T-shirt, but the sonogram picture that he was holding in his chubby little hand. :)

Ryan and I had been hoping to get pregnant for months and are so happy that we will be having another little Flurry on November 6, 2012 (Election Day), assuming everything goes as scheduled.  And as excited as we are for the new wee one, that wee one has been giving his or her Mommy a hard time so far.  I have been pretty sick for a lot of the first months (as I write this I am one day shy of 18 weeks) and while it's no excuse for not blogging, it certainly is a reason :)  The days are getting better, I only feel sick a couple of times a week and not nearly as badly as before.  It's been a very different pregnancy so far, but I'm sure that working and chasing Liam around has altered my perception as well!

The Little Troublemaker

My Two Babies (at least for now)

Less than a month after Liam's 1st birthday, we were able to enjoy Spring Break.  Up until just a couple of years ago, my Spring Breaks always included international travel of some kind, usually with my friend Marilyn and sometimes Amy, Rosemary, Mom and others.  Spring Break 2009 was the trip that changed my life- Switzerland and Germany with Ryan and a beautiful marriage proposal outside the cathedral in Ulm.  Then, the next Spring Break was our honeymoon in Costa Rica.  Last year I was snuggling up with newborn Liam, amazed that I could be happiest right there in my living room with this little guy.

So this Spring Break we wanted to just be together again as a family.  We went to the farm for a couple of days, hung out at home, worked on projects, had play dates and dinner parties, got a hair cut, celebrated St. Patrick's Day and March Madness.  It was close to perfect.

Snuggling up with Vivi Lukas for after dinner hugs

Vivi introduces Liam to pudding during a dinner party with the Lukas Ladies

Dim Sum with Daddy

With Mimi on his first carousel ride

  

So excited to head to the farm!

"Driving" the gator up at Grandma's.

Candy necklaces make for great distractions during a hair cut

St. Patrick's Day at First Watch with Mommy, The Breakfast Club, and...

           ....Liam's favorite Russian server, Natasha!

March Madness w/ Mommy

But with all of the events during Spring Break, my favorite times are the daily ones- the routine moments that can blow me away.  That's what it's all about.

It all begins with cute bedhead mornings like this one

An unusually quiet moment in the bath- the last bath in the blue tub.
Only big-boy tubs from now on.

The minutes before the bath might be the best though.

We have been spending a lot of time with Legos these days- perhaps a future architect in our midst?  The funniest part of this is that Liam managed to keep this up for DAYS!  He would gingerly walk around it every day and totally respected the work that he and Daddy put into it.  I wasn't there when it fell, but Nanny Judith "Juju" said he was surprised but all in all, he took it pretty well.

After all that building, it's nice to kick back in my chair and relax.

In April we enjoyed spending Easter weekend up in St. Joe with Jeremiah and his parents and Grandma :)  We missed the Margherios who were in St. Louis for the holiday, but Jeremiah and Liam were a lot of fun decorating Easter eggs, opening baskets, going to church and of course, hunting for eggs.

This was taken outside church after a lovely service that Liam and I saw most of it from the back room-

he was very antsy that day.

Family photo taken outside of Grandma's house

After we changed into play clothes (with faux tie, of course), Liam decided that the gator, the swings, the playset were all boring compared to playing with gravel under Grandma's deck.  Seriously, he was under here for like half an hour in absolute bliss.
The kid is weird sometimes.

After Easter on the farm, Mimi played Easter Bunny one more time for Liam at our house.  He loved the second one just as much as the first!

Many days we enjoy hearing Liam bang away on the drumset that one of my students gave him.  We have moved the drums to the lower level of the house- too much of a good thing is never that good ;)

Liam has been a nature lover since he came home from the hospital and Ryan put him in that snowboard boot- most afternoons he loves hanging around the landscape in the front yard.

Or in the backyard treehouse, usually with the cousins as crew!

We have had some other fun visitors too, like Marsha and Ross

and Cousin Jenny (pictured here with her GORGEOUS gift she made for Liam's 1st bday)

And, sadly, this spring Liam had to say goodbye to his other cousin Jenny who moved to Indianapolis to start her life with Amar and little, soon-to-be-born Baby Asante.  This was taken at her goodbye party- notice the hand-drawn cards from Benjamin and Dominic :)

And of course, we have had more Grandparents' Dinners on or near the 22nd of each month.

This was from his 13th month Grandparents' Dinner.

And just in time for his 14 month Grandparents' Dinner, Uncle Tony and Aunt Pam arrived back in town!  We are really excited to have them here in Liam's everyday life.


Speaking of celebrations, Dominic turned 3, Jeremiah turned 4 and Benjamin turned 5 since I posted last.  Dominic's Pirate Party was one pillage of a good time!

Liam has also taken a recent interest in soccer.  At the annual SMW vs. SMS Girls Soccer Game/ Walk a Mile In Her Shoes event, Liam acted as both a referee, player and cheerleader to the participants.

His love for soccer continued on through the spring when he went to cheer on Benjamin's team's final soccer game of the season.

He watched the game intently...

discussed strategy with cousin Dominic...











watched Aunt Shannon coach the team...

and celebrated with the rest of the them on the end of a great season!

Jeremiah's 4th Birthday "Snake" Party was a slitherin' success.  Liam loved the theme (and the food, and the gifts, and the swimming after, etc. etc.)

New baby on the way, Spring Break, Easter, and parties, parties, parties.  A lot can happen in 3 months.  And oh yeah, Liam learned to walk as well.  It's a brand new world.

Lesson well learned.