Lesson #14 Like Father, Like Son

I'd like to talk about Ryan.  When I started dating him in 2006 (the first "cycle"), I knew right away that he was a family man.  The first night I talked to him at length, he mentioned his family.  Told me all about his sisters Shannon and Jodi and how they had just moved back to Kansas City, as he had.  I remember fondly that after he talked about it, he quietly said, "It's nice to all be together again."  He continued on and told me about his mom, Becky, and his dad, Dolph, and how long they had been married.  He even mentioned his grandparents and their influence on him, so I knew right away that Ryan was a family man.

During the time we were apart, which was for over a year, a lot happened.  We both lost our fathers.  Ryan lost two of his grandparents as well.  It was a sad time.  But then, the way it often does, joy filtered in through the sadness.  That joy was Benjamin, and suddenly, as Ryan has described it, there was something wonderful to focus on. 

Born in June, Benjamin was about 7 months old when I first met him as "Cycle 2" began and Ryan couldn't talk enough about him.  He told me how he would watch Benjamin on occasion and how much fun he was.  His eyes lit up when he spoke about his nephew.

And now, he has three nephews and is so proud of each one of them.  They all hold a special little place in his heart.

Right away I could see that this family man I always knew Ryan to be had evolved into something more.  Now I could see that he would not only be a great husband, but a wonderful father as well.

And he is. Every day, he is.

He was the rock I needed throughout my pregnancy, the labor, and the c-section.  He held my hand and told me it was all going to be okay, and he was the one who brought Liam to me, all wrapped and warm and cuddly.  He became a master at diaper changing and "shhhhing" to calm Liam when no one else could.  He burped him over and over and actually seemed to enjoy doing it. 

He held him, and slept with him every day when he came home from work. 

And now, almost 7 months later, he is the one who gets Liam up on Sunday mornings to make breakfast for us- the two of them in the kitchen while I listen to their father/son sounds- one speaking in that strong voice I love so well and the other communicating in little giggles and small screams of agreement from his little highchair.  Still in bed, with a smile on my face, I predict that these Sunday morning sounds will continue but evolve into father/son chats about the farm and school and life in general.

I see Ryan walking with Liam, first in the carrier and then the stroller, and eventually side by side.  He is the one who Liam will continue to go to the hardware store with on Saturday mornings while I am at First Watch with the ladies.  They join us now sometimes, just to check in and grab a bite before they go off to do other manly errands.

I see Ryan swinging with Liam.  When he was a newborn, Liam would be swaddled like a little burrito on top of Ryan's chest.  But just yesterday, Ryan built the first part of a playset in our backyard, complete with a big boy swing.  Liam loved it.

I see Ryan taking Liam to his two different jobs- school administrator and farmer.  He loves both vocations, and I love both sides of him.  I hope Liam is as well-rounded as his Daddy.

I see Ryan dressed up for my niece Jenny's wedding, walking around the Kaufman Gardens and pointing out the different plants to Liam.  My guys- so handsome in their black jackets.

I see Ryan encouraging me to have some time alone or with my girlfriends while he watches Liam.  Nightime bottles just the two of them, my Jewel lullabye cd left on "off" while Ryan's IPod plays his "Jack's Mannequin" music in beautiful rebellion.

And when Liam is sick, I see Ryan holding down his arms with sweet strength while he suctions out Liam's nose- a job I hate to do and have little patience for.  Ryan has always had the patience at times that I don't, and calming an upset Liam is a good example of this.

That is what I love about Ryan the most... he balances me, calms me, makes me feel safe.  This husband, this family man, this Daddy.  I can only hope Liam will grow up to be "like Father, like son."  Lesson well learned.